God wants Christian Husbands to Live with their wives in an Understanding Way Which is the Way of Christ
1 Peter 3:7
Please turn to 1 Peter 3:7. 1 Peter 3:7 is our text under study this morning. As you are turning there, I want us to get reacquainted with some important statements in the context of what Peter has been writing. Peter's main thrust from midway through chapter 2, on through the first part of chapter 3 has to do with submission in respect to various human institutions. In 1 Peter 2:13, we learn that we are to submit to human governing institutions for the Lord's sake specifically. This is Peter's big overarching principle for all our relationship activities. Even in the many faceted ways that we can express the love of Christ out of ourselves to others, the "Lord's sake" is the primary reason that we do so. In 1 Peter 2:18, Peter goes on to explain that slaves must be submissive to earthly masters. This even means submitting to the unreasonable ones. Once again, Peter explains that this is to be done while being mindful of God. Then Peter says that we submit even though we are free to the world and its institutions--being a set apart, "holy," nation. We notice that over and over again, Peter keeps bring it all back to our relationship with God. He says to submit in the lost world culture because you are a slave of God. This extends to what Peter goes on to say: We were called for the purpose of suffering for Christ in a certain humble way. The suffering is in submission in the same way that Christ suffered in His submission. Christ is our example. He suffered for our sake. We suffer for His sake. Peter ties it all together with a knot. He says to honor all people, love the Christian brothers and sisters, fear God, and honor the earthly king. This "knot," so to speak, is a brief recap of some important details of the first couple of chapters. What I want us to consider at this time is the essential thread of what Peter has just said. Here is the principle fiber that runs through it in a nutshell:
It is to be doing all for the sake of Christ according to the way of Christ.
Let me repeat that again. It is to be doing all for the sake of Christ according to Christ's way. This is what Peter has been teaching as he touches upon wives submitting to husbands. When Peter gets to wives, he wants them to respect, and submit, to their husbands for the sake of Christ according to the way of Christ. Now Peter is switching over to another authority personality in his flow of categories. This authority is reflective of Christ's relationship to the church. This person is the Christian husband; and he is the subject of our text under study. Please read it with me now. Peter says,
"7 You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with the weaker vessel, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered." 1 Peter 3:7
Please prepare your heart to learn, along with me, in this sermon titled,
God wants Christian Husbands to Live with their wives in an Understanding Way Which is the Way of Christ
[prayer]
I often read statistical reports on trends that are occurring in our society. As I read them, I know that a lot of statistical studies can be manipulated. I also know that some of them may not be very accurate indicators of what is going on among the wider populace. The data can be exclusive; details can be left out, and so forth. With that said, I do not completely discount the overall value and usefulness of straight forward numerical statistics. For example, every year I am alarmed at what I read concerning the rate of divorce among people in the United States who claim to be "born again." By "born again" the people claim that they have embraced Jesus Christ as their Savior. The statistics I am talking about show a widespread tragedy. More than half of these so-called "born again" people who get married in the United States of America, will end in divorce. Now think about that. Even if the percentage is much less, like a 5% divorce rate instead of a 50 percent divorce rate, the statistic would still be staggering when compared to God's revealed will concerning marriage. On the other hand, I read similar kinds of statistics (like one from Harvard) that show that couples who read the Bible together regularly; pray together regularly; and attend church together regularly, have a divorce rate of less than 1/10 of 1 percent. In other words, that is a staying-together success rate of 99.9 percent. Whenever we contemplate these kinds of statistical trends, we quickly see that when it comes to marital success, there is more to success than merely claiming that you are "born again." We also recognize that this success does not come from gimmicks. Reading the Bible together regularly; praying together regularly, and attending church together regularly, are more than marriage discipline gimmicks. Gimmicks are things like you would hear on a talk show, read on a website article, or something like that. They are band aids. They only cover the root problems of sick, wounded, marriages. Reading God's word, praying together, and regularly attending a local fellowship, are godly activities of couples who are seeking to make their lives Christ centered. Think about this. If they are doing this as married couples, then this also means that they are seeking to make their marriages Christ centered too. The point is that Christ-centered marriages demonstrate to us that Christ's way is better than our own selfish way. Today we husbands are going to learn some principles of living with our wives in an understanding way which is a Christlike way. It is a Christ centered way.
/1/
The first principle has to do with Peter's opening words. There is a certain under girding way that we husbands must nurture for attaining, and sustaining a Christlike, Christ centered, marriage. Notice that Peter says,
"7 You husbands in the same way, ..."
The important question for us to explore is: In the same way as what? We remember that Peter just told wives to be submissive to husbands (in respect for them) for the sake of the Lord. In fact wives are also to be submissive to husbands who are disobedient to the word. The sense is that the wife has a goal of trying to win the husband without words by the way the wife behaves. Husbands are supposed to see the Christian wife's relationship to God coming out in her pure and respectful behavior. It's where she manifests the fruits of the Spirit out of her actions toward her husband. Peter calls it the wife's imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit which is precious in the sight of God. It is the way of the holy women all through history. It is where they were submissive to their own husbands. The Spirit indicates that it is the way of Abraham's wife, Sarah. Peter describes her as obeying her husband, and calling him "master" which is a reference to Genesis 18:12. In exploring this, I want us to consider that when Peter just addressed wives, Peter referred to the same road map. Peter pointed wives back to elements of his teaching that would be important for them to consider in what he is about to command them to do,
"1 In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands ..." 1 Peter 3:1
But now, Peter is talking to the husbands who are the authorities in the family. Peter is not saying to husbands to submit to their wives in the same way that wives are to submit to them. Husbands are not to emulate Sarah and be daughters of her, like Peter tells wives they will be in submitting to their husbands in respect. Husbands are not to call their wives "master" like Sarah called Abraham master. Husbands represent Abraham in Peter's illustration. The point is that there is a distinction here of the way that a wife is to treat her husband, and in the way that a husband must treat his wife. The distinction is consistent in all the teachings in the Bible. Paul made the distinction when he said,
"18 Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord." Colossians 3:18
But then immediately Paul says next,
"19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be embittered against them." Colossians 3:19
In Ephesians it is the same kind of distinction,
"22 Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. 24 But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, ... 28 So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; 29 for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, 30 because we are members of His body. ... 33 ... each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband." Ephesians 5
@1 The Lord wants Christian husbands to love their own wives like their own ________________. Ephesians 5:28
The point is that Peter is making the same kind of distinctions in 1 Peter. So, we still need to answer the question,
"What does Peter mean by 'the same way' when he gets to husbands?"
To understand what Peter means, we must recognize that "the same way" is not completely detached from the instruction that Peter has just given to Christian wives. What Peter is saying to husbands is being built upon the same foundation that Peter has laid out from the beginning of the epistle. Do you remember what it is? I'll repeat it again:
The concern is for husbands to treat their wives as doing all for the sake of Christ according to the way of Christ.
This is the overarching principle that is seen in every directive up to this point and on through the rest of the epistle. In 1 Peter 1:14 the undercurrent is, "As obedient children, do not be conformed to the former lusts which were yours in your ignorance, but like the Holy One who called you, be holy yourselves also in all your behavior. It is to be doing all for the sake of Christ according to the way of Christ. It is the foundation of 1 Peter 1:22-23, "Since you have in obedience to the truth purified your souls for a sincere love of the brothers, fervently love one another from the heart, because you have been born again not of seed which is perishable but imperishable, ...". It is the power in 1 Peter 2:1, "Therefore, putting aside all malice and all deceit and hypocrisy and envy and all slander, ..." Being an elect race, a holy nation, and a royal priesthood for God's own possession, is the essence of it according to 1 Peter 2:9. "For the Lord's sake" is the pinnacle issue of 1 Peter 2:13. Acting as a bondslave of God is its substance in 1 Peter 2:16. It is the whole reason to "Honor all people, love the brotherhood, fear God, honor the king" in 1 Peter 2:17. Acting properly in being conscious of what God wants you to do is what finds favor with God as the big deal in 1 Peter 2:19. It is the patience that finds favor with God in 1 Peter 2:20. Being under the great shepherd is the issue in 1 Peter 2:25. When we look at all of this, then we are overwhelmed with the sense that "the way" is simply to be doing all for the sake of Christ according to the way of Christ. But Peter does not give the summation until the verse directly after our passage. It is 1 Peter 3:8-9. I am going to read it with 1 Peter 3:7. Please pay attention to the rich depth that it adds to Peter's point,
"7 You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with the weaker vessel, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.
[Now here it is]
8 To sum up, all of you be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted, and humble in spirit; 9 not returning evil for evil or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead;" 1 Peter 3:7-8
@2 As Christians, God does not want us to return evil for evil or insult for insult, but rather God wants us to give a _____________________. 1 Peter 3:9
Notice that Peter calls verse 8 his summary statement of what he has been teaching. This is to be doing all for the sake of Christ according to the way of Christ, and each word of this applies to us husbands in respect to how we treat our wives. There is no Christian husband that is immune from "this same way." Husbands, what this means is that you should seek to be in harmony with your wife. Just like one chord being distinct and separate in tone from another, when both work together, you have a sympathetic frequency. You have harmony. You flow together in unison. This unity is the way of Christ with us. For the Lord's sake, we husbands are to be checking ourselves to see whether we are in unity with our wives. This also means that we husbands must be sympathetic with our wives. It is the way of Christ for Him to be considerate with you, right? This is what He wants to see you doing with the help mate that He has entrusted you with. And we need to be brotherly in manifesting the family-ness of our relationship to Christ. Christ is our brother, and if your wife is a Christian, then she is your sister in Christ. Do you treat your wife like a sister in Christ? Are you being grace, love, and care, to her by building her up? These are the principles of the biblical fellowship relationship. Or, do you treat her like an old car--You have acquired your wife, and so now she belongs to you, and you use her when you want to gratify your selfish desires; then you park her back in the garage. In other words: Is your relationship with you wife, one that is like you are just keeping her fixed and running for you? You put gas in her; you changer her oil so she will go--you start her up and notice her when you want to drive her. You know, a lot of so-called born again husbands, leave their weaker vessel wife, in the proverbial garage where she is to be awaiting his hands to steer her wheel, and await the husband's foot to push her peddle, and they do it in disregard of her opinions, her weaknesses, and her precious sisterhood, in Christ. Be honest with yourself--Has this been you? Maybe you treat your wife like a sports car. You want everyone to see your possession so that your pride will be bolstered. Way too many Christian husbands are guilty of this. Here is a probing question that really puts it all into perspective:
Are any of these ways the same way that Christ treats us?
But the royal law of the royal ruler is a high standard that comes from the indwelling Spirit, so it goes to even higher heights of manifesting the superness of its supernomian measure. What I mean is that even if your wife is not a Christian, the Lord still wants you to treat her with the love that God demands be manifested out of you. And the Spirit also says that He wants us husband to manifest Christ out of us in the compassion of being kindhearted, loving, and gentle. Humble in spirit seems like a tough one for most husbands, doesn't it? Yet the Spirit wants it. It is His fruit that must ripen out of you. It means being Christ like servant-leaders for our wives. When we think about this one, we know that Christ is the head. He is the ultimate authority. But His example that he left to us is that of being a humble, self sacrificing, type of leader. Are we being humble, self-sacrificing, leaders for our wives? This is God's manifested manner of manly masculinity in true headship. This is what He wants from us husbands. It is all fruit of the Spirit, and our wives need to taste it from us. Do you remember the fruit?
"22 the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. 24 Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. 25 If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit." Galatians 5:22-25
@3 Since we live by the Spirit according to Galatians 2:20, then we should _________________ by the Spirit in such a way as to manifest the Spirit's fruit out of our lives according to Galatians 5:22-25.
The point is that "the way" that God wants us to treat our wives, is the way of walking by the Spirit with them. Do you show patience with your wife? Patience is where you try to listen and step back and be considerate of her and her needs. Being consumed with your own selfish, self oriented, desires, is not a fruit of the Spirit. Being faithful in marriage is. When we think about being gentle with our wives, think about the way you would hold a flower, and nurture its growth with water, fertilizer, light, and gentle care. Think about the way you would treat a newborn baby. Harshness is the opposite of gentleness. Then there is self control. Self control means you control yourself. If you really are a Christian, it means that you try to control yourself as your saved self manifesting the fruits of the Spirit Who produces the New Self that is able to control yourself. And then I want us to notice that Peter adds that particular way of Christ that he mentioned back in 2:23 where while being reviled, Christ did not revile in return. Peter finishes up the summation where we apply this to ourselves as husbands,
"not returning evil for evil or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead;" 1 Peter 3:8
Retaliation is a natural response that is easy for us to do. It is so easy to return evil for evil and insult for insult. Retaliation as an authority is especially easy when our position has been undermined in a disrespectful manner. It is natural for someone in authority to take charge in such situations. It is natural to defend, and assert, the authority; and retaliation is a tactic based upon asserting ourselves. But, the Spirit is indicating that returning evil for evil, or insult for insult, is not the kind of assertive response that God wants out of us husbands with our wives. What God wants from you is the next principle.
/2/
The second principle is a teaching of another aspect of the way of Christ. It is an understanding way, where Peter says,
"... live with your wives in an understanding way, as with the weaker vessel, since she is a woman; ..."
As we look at this, we should be thinking about the example of Christ again. Think about the way that Christ relates to you. You are weaker than He is. He knows that we know we are weaker than He is. In fact, He understands that you are weaker than himself. In this way, He gives life to you, He lives in you, and with you, where He empowers you, and yet you are the weaker vessel. In like manner to this way of Christ, it is our responsibility as husbands to understand certain things about our wives. God wants us to recognize and understand that they are uniquely different from ourselves. We need to understand their special needs according to their femininity, their personality traits, their physical traits, and so forth. Your wife's special needs are founded in the fact that your wife really is a woman-vessel. This term, "vessel" is the same word that Paul used in Romans 9:21 to describe people as being like vessels that are made from clay. You are to treat your wife like you would treat fragile vessels of clay that you should consider to be weaker than you are. It does not matter how strong we husbands think our wives are. She may be the strongest woman in the world. She may be physically strong, and so we recognize her that way. In fact, she may be the olympic powerlifting champion of the world. She may be mentally strong, and so we recognize her that way. In fact, she may be a genius. She may be emotionally strong, and so we think of her that way. She may be spiritually strong, and so we think of her that way too. All those things may be true in some amazingly stark sense, but the fact of the matter remains:
God says that your wife is to be lived with as with the weaker vessel because she is a woman.
So philosophical ideas about how strong your wife is don't really matter. Why? Because you are to live with her as if she is the weaker vessel anyway. This is what God says to do. At one end of the spectrum, feminism has tried to come along and influence Christians by teaching that this should not be done. At the other end of the spectrum are various hybrid views of a Christian headship that will essentially bolster certain men to ignore this command; or pervert it. The feminists will claim that men and women are equal in all ways. Their ungodly diatribes do not matter. But despotic husbands who try to bolster their insensitive, harsh, demanding, behavior towards their wives, and ignore their wives pleas concerning their weaknesses, are just as guilty. The point is that we should not listen to people who are tainted by feminism who wish to taint us with feminism. Their opinion does not matter. On the other hand, don't try to twist God's word, will, and way to justify your actions simply because you are the head with the authority. What matters is what God really says. The spiritually sensitive manner in which we are to treat our wives is as if they are the weaker vessels that need our listening ear, our grace, our protection, and our understanding. What matters is pleasing God by obeying His word rightly handled. But this goes further: Ignoring that God says to treat your wife as if she is a weaker vessel in conscious awareness of the fact that she is a woman, leads to treating her in an ungodly, un-Christian, manner. Whenever you try to treat your wife as a strong vessel, that can, and must, handle all that you dish out to her in your selfish, insensitive, actions, then you put a lot of burden upon her that may appear like she is handling it, but she really is not. Your gift from God is dying inside, but in your selfish agenda, you ignore her true frailty by ignoring God's word, or perverting it. You do not respect her as a person because you are not being as sensitive to her needs that you would be if you kept thinking of her as the weaker vessel that desperately needs your care. The point is that the "understanding way" is the way of living as with a weaker vessel. As soon as you quit thinking of her that way, then you will quit understanding her, and when you quit understanding her, then you will quit treating her that way; and as soon as you quit treating her that way, then you are hurting, bruising, and damaging, her in her weakness even though you may not be realizing it, and you may seek to justify it.
/3/
This leads to the third principle we husbands need to nurture in our Christ centered marriages,
"... and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, ..."
Notice here that Peter uses the term "fellow heir." Back in chapter 1:3-4, the inheritance of the heirs in Christ is made clear. Peter said,
"3 ... God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. ... has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, 4 to obtain an inheritance which is imperishable and undefiled and will not fade away, reserved in heaven for you," 1 Peter 1:3-4
@4 All who have received salvation through the death and resurrection of Christ by grace from Him, through faith in Him, will necessarily get the blessing of abundant, eternal, life that is _________________________ and waiting there in heaven for them. 1 Peter 1:3-4
This is the glorified life inheritance of the heir that Peter is talking about. It is eternal spiritual salvation with all its glory that follows forever. We need to keep this in mind because this is talking about Christian men married to Christian women. The Scriptures are clear; God dose not want us to be unequally joined together with unbelievers, 2 Corinthians 6:14-17. This means that if a young man, or woman, is pursuing marriage, they should only seek to marry another Christian. This reflects the fact that the marriage union is a covenant with God. Nevertheless, not all people who have become saved after marriage will see their unsaved spouse be regenerated. God wants you to love your unsaved spouse anyway. But what Peter is teaching here does not apply to unsaved spouses. The honor that God wants us to show our wives when they are Christian is the kind of honor that treats her as a sister in Christ. We remember Peter's prior teaching in the same flow once again;
"17 Honor all people, love the brotherhood, ..."
When your wife is a Christian, then she is your sister in Christ. Both the husband and wife are vessels of the Spirit. They are both in Christ and Christ is in both. They both have spiritual life, and are fellow heirs. This micro example of the body is seen in the fact that Christian marriages are a church-type. True spiritual fellowship occurs in the marriages of Christians. This is the reason why Christian husbands must honor their wives as sisters in Christ. She is a fellow heir of the grace of life. She is not spiritually dead. In fact, you will know your wife as a fellow child of God forever--not just in this lifetime. All these things are important for recognizing concerning this principle, but there is one more that is intimately tied into this one.
/4/
This leads to the fourth and last principle. Peter says,
"and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered." 1 Peter 3:7
There is a big "so that" here. It has to do with the prayers of husbands being hindered. It also has to do with the prayer of husbands not being hindered. To see what Peter means by this contingency upon husbands that can either result in hindered prayer, or not, we must look at Peter's flow again. It is in his very next words, where Peter says,
"8 To sum up, all of you be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted, and humble in spirit; 9 not returning evil for evil or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead; for you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing." 1 Peter 3:8-9
Then in two more verses, we must notice that Peter mentions prayer again. He quotes the Old Testament Psalm 34:15-17,
"12 For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and his ears are open to their prayer. But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil." 1 Peter 3:12
What we see here in Peter's contextual flow, where he quotes Old Testament revelation in his own New Covenant revelation from God, is that the Lord's eyes are opened to the prayers of the righteous. If we connect 1 Peter 3:8-9, with Peter 3:12, we can surmise that Peter is still talking about Christian husbands. But this can lead to interpretational problems. Keeping this in mind, there are two interpretational avenues that people take in trying to determine what Peter means by a Christian husband's prayers being hindered. Let's look at both of them, so that we can understand a little bit more about the issues:
{A}
The first view of what Peter means, states that the husband's prayers are hindered in such a way that the Lord is not open to them. This interpretation sees that it is so important to God that a Christian husband treat his wife with the respect that God expects as love for the body of Christ, that God equates anything less with evil doing. The reason given for why God would not be open to this Christian man's prayers, is because God does not take lightly the mistreatment of His children, whether outside the marriage or in the marriage. Such mistreatment is just as distasteful to God as it is for His people to experience persecution from non-Christians. It is also distasteful to God for fellow brothers and sisters in Christ to mistreat one another in the expansive body of Christ. God loathes the sinful failure of Christians who do not recognize the other members of the body in love, and then treat them with love. So, it would be as Peter says through the lens of New Testament revelation--that the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous in respect to the way that a Christian husband treats his sister in Christ who is his wife, and when they are being righteous toward her by honoring her as a fellow heir of the grace of life, then God is open to the prayers of the husband; but on the other hand, the face of the Lord is against those Christian husbands "who do evil" to their wives, which is defined in the contextual flow as not showing the wife honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, which would also mean, according to the flow, that she must be treated as a weaker vessel, in striving for harmony, sympathy, brotherliness, kindheartedness, and humbleness in spirit; not returning evil for evil or insult for insult, but giving a blessing to your wife instead; because we were called for the very purpose that we might inherit a blessing. The principle of giving and receiving blessing is extended to be an allusion to God being opened to the husband's prayers. Then there is another view of this passage.
{B}
It recognizes that all Christians are righteous because of the righteousness of God imputed to them in Him,
"We are the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus," Romans 3:21-22,
"21 He made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him," 1 Corinthians 5:21
@5 He made His Son Jesus, who knew no sin, to be sin on the behalf of all He saves, so that we would become the righteousness of ________________ in Him," 2 Corinthians 5:21
It is then said that God always hears the prayers of the righteous, which would be the prayers of any Christian. God does not turn His face against His own children who are positionally in Christ. The sense is that in the same way we can not attain enough righteousness, and lack of evil doing, to save ourselves by our works, we can not attain enough righteousness, and lack of evil doing, to make our prayers worthy of God. The view also considers that Peter does not say here that the answers themselves are what are hindered. This is an important point. Notice what Peter says. He says that "prayers" are what may be hindered. Why would this be important? The reason is that, with this in mind, the interpretation goes on to explain that the contextual issue, at this point, is that Peter is addressing the marriage relationship itself. The Christian husband must honor His Christian wife as a fellow heir of the grace of life. The husband is to do this so that his prayers will not be hindered in respect to praying together with his Christian wife in harmonious marriage. He will not pray with her if he does not see her, and treat her, as someone who is equal spiritually with the grace and privilege to do so. Likewise, she may not pray with Him if he treats her wrongly. Further, because of mistreatment, prayers may occur, but may be hindered in the respect that they will not be experienced the way they should be in a functional church type of the sacred marriage bond.
As to why Peter would go on, in a couple of more verses, to use the Old Testament analogy of God's thoughts and actions against the unsaved, it is explained that Peter is doing what is done in many New Testament epistles. Peter is using a lengthy quoted analogy, from the ancient Psalms, to express a theme of his whole epistle of how much God is opposed to the unrighteous who pursue Christians for persecution, to show how much God deals with those evil people in their sin. The Psalm is Psalm 34. It is the Psalm of David when was fleeing from Saul and David feigned madness before the pagan philistine king, Achish son of Maoch who was also called Abimelech, who drove David away and David departed;
"12 Who is the man who desires life and loves length of days that he may see good? 13 Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking deceit. 14 Depart from evil and do good; Seek peace and pursue it. 15 The eyes of Yahweh are toward the righteous and His ears are open to their cry. 16 The face of Yahweh is against evildoers, to cut off the memory of them from the earth. 17 The righteous cry, and Yahweh hears and delivers them out of all their troubles." Psalm 34:12-17
These analogies of God's covenant people in contrast to those who are the wicked, point back to Peter's whole context that includes all the various people addressed; not just Christian husbands. The point, then, would be that since the dispersed Christians are God's people, then they should purpose not to act like those people that God is opposed to which are the unrighteous who are not His people which are described as "those who do evil." The analogy then flows like this,
"10 For 'Whoever desires to love life and see good days, let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit;
[This quote from Psalm 34:12-17, is used as an allusion to prophetically refer to Christians who are God's New Covenant people that Peter is instructing. Christians are the ones who love the life of Christ, and desire to see good days in the eschatological hope. Then Peter goes on with "the way" which is the way of Christ,]
11 let him turn away from evil and do good; let him seek peace and pursue it.
[Christ always does good, seeks peace, and pursues it. Therefor, Christ's people, as Peter's lengthy context has been teaching, must do the same thing by turning from evil, and pursuing the actions that manifest Christ outwardly. Then Peter gives the contrast to show how Christians need to be different than the lost]
12 For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and his ears are open to their prayer. But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.'" 1 Peter 3:10-12
[The stark reality of the Lord's face being against the wicked is seen in His eschatological judgment, and their eternal damnation, where the righteous go on forever in glorious eternal life]
I have just shared the essential details of both views. Both seem to have merit. I lean toward the second view myself because I see that it fits contextually, and it also coincides neatly with the rest of New Covenant revelation. The main point, though, whether you take the first view or the second, is that Christian husbands must treat their Christian wives as what they are--as fellow heirs of the grace of life. To not do so brings problems in respect to prayers. It hinders them. To do so, brings blessings for both the husband, and the wife, in many ways.
Let's recap all we have looked at this morning: The big overarching principle that Peter has referenced, is the big overarching principle for all our actions: It is to be doing all for the sake of Christ according to the way of Christ. How do we do this? We manifest the fruits of the Spirit that lives in us. What are those fruits that we husbands need to be manifesting to our wife-gifts from God?
"22 the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control;" Galatians 5:22-23
It means,
"not returning evil for evil or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead;" 1 Peter 3:8
It means:
"... live with your wives in an understanding way, as with the weaker vessel, since she is a woman; ..."
We are to do this even though feminism tries to convince us otherwise. We are to do this even though some distorted views of manly leadership try to convince us otherwise. We must also remember the principle where God wants us to honor our Christian wives as our sisters in Christ. Just because we have married a sister in Christ, her status has not changed. She is God's daughter. She is a part of the body. She is to be honored as a fellow heir who is according to the royal priesthood as a holy national. Finally, God wants us to be mindful that our prayers are hindered when we treat our wives dishonorably in lack of real tangible love. I urge all of us husbands to embrace these principles where God wants Christian husbands to live with their wives in an understanding way which is the way of Christ and then apply them. In this way, we will please God, glorify His name, and bring blessing to our marriages. Amen
@1 The Lord wants Christian husbands to love their own wives like their own ________________. Ephesians 5:28
@2 As Christians, God does not want us to return evil for evil or insult for insult, but rather God wants us to give a _____________________. 1 Peter 3:9
@3 Since we live by the Spirit according to Galatians 2:20, then we should ________________ by the Spirit in such a way as to manifest the Spirit's fruit out of our lives according to Galatians 5:22-25.
@4 All who have received salvation through the death and resurrection of Christ by grace from Him, through faith in Him, will necessarily get the blessing of abundant, eternal, life that is _________________________ and waiting there in heaven for them. 1 Peter 1:3-4
@5 He made His Son Jesus. who knew no sin, to be sin on the behalf of all He saves, so that we would become the righteousness of ________________ in Him," 2 Corinthians 5:21
