What God Has Joined Together, Sermon 1 of 10
Foundation 1: "What About The Gift Of Singleness?"
1 Corinthians 7:1-8
(Children's Sheet for Sermon Interaction is at bottom. Notes for young children to answer are throughout sermon)Please turn to 1 Corinthians 7:1-8. 1 Corinthians 7:1-8 will be our primary passage this morning. As you are turning there, I will share a little bit about my preaching plan for the coming weeks. I'm doing a series that is based on the theme, "What God Has joined together." In this series, I am wanting to bring out the strong sense of God's sovereignty over our lives. Most of us here have a Biblical awareness of God's sovereignty. Some of us, it seems, have a greater grasp of God's sovereignty over all the affairs of people. For many of us, including me, God's sovereignty is something I have to continuously study. I have to look at it over and over again to keep my mind in the proper place of recognizing it consistently throughout every pocket of life. To keep the doctrine driving my actions in faith, I need to be intimately familiar with what God has revealed in His Scriptures. Then I must line up my thinking according to what I know from God's word. I am describing the pure practice of being transformed by the renewing of our minds. It is the employment of taking every thought captive to the obedience of our amazing God. So, I want to start out this series by focusing specifically upon God's sovereignty in respect to life as a single. By the term "single" I mean someone who is not married. Throughout the series, I want to cover things like dating, courtship, finding the right mate, engagement; what to do, and what not to do, physically in pre-marriage relationships. My main focus will be upon God's sovereignty in these things. I also plan to cover God's sovereignty concerning those who are married. I also plan on getting us to examine God's sovereignty in respect to divorce and remarriage. I think that this series is important in our day, so I am looking forward to preaching every aspect of it for our edification. As we approach this, I think most of us recognize that there are multitudes of teachings from seminars, books, conferences, radio shows, websites, and so forth, that deal with singleness, and issues from single to spouse. There are volumes of teachings, and methods, on how to find the man, or the woman, of your so-called, "dreams." There is just as much effort, and advice, available for how to avoid sexual temptations. There are whole ministries that are devoted to singles. There are ministries that are devoted to helping Christian spouses to improve their marriage. I intend on covering some of those issues throughout this series. But, all those issues will be covered in a framework that is built on the most important foundation. We need the living fact of God's active sovereignty in what He joins, or does not join, together in marriage to be stressed as the main issue rather than a side, supporting, issue. You would think that this is the typical approach that you find in other teachings; but unfortunately, it is not typical. As I proceed, I want to ask you whether you think you have heard the theme title for this series before. Remember, the theme is, "What God Has joined together." You might recognize the title of this series because it comes from Matthew 19:3-6. It is a quote from Jesus in his dialogue that He had with some Pharisees. We read of the confrontation:
"3 Some Pharisees came to Jesus, testing Him and asking, 'Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason at all?' 4 And He answered and said, 'Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning made them male and female, 5 and said, 'for this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh?' 6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore ["Therefore" means that Jesus is pointing to what He just said and is now expanding upon it. So He says, therefore] what God has joined together, let no person separate.'" Matthew 19:3-6
@1 God joins __________________________ men and women in marriage where they are no longer two but one flesh. No person should separate the one flesh of marriage through divorce.
Jesus was talking about the foundation. It is God's sovereignty made manifest. God is the one who joins His people together in marriage. The statement itself is packed with so much doctrinal substance that it requires a whole sermon series to scratch the surface of all of its implications. This morning, we begin the series with what comes before marriage. Please prepare you heart, to learn along with me, from this sermon titled,
What God Has Joined together, Sermon 1 of 10
"Foundation 1: What About The Gift Of Singleness?"
[prayer]
Throughout my years of ministry, I have had ample opportunity to minister to singles. In my early years, I was what was called a "youth minister" in a church that had youth and singles ministries. We purposely don't have that kind of thing in Bridgeway, so it may be difficult for some of us to relate to what I am talking about. On the other hand, many of us have "been there--done that." The point I am making, is that much of my Christian ministry has been to youth and singles, so I have a lot of familiarity with both the triumphs, and the failures; the glories, and the gripes, the faith, and the fears, of singles. Often, in my association with Christian singles, I have heard a kind of lament. It is a kind of statement that is made with a sigh behind it. It's not one that is usually made in a cheerful, jovial way. A single would be contemplating their singleness, and they would say in exasperation,
"I don't have the gift of singleness."
There is no telling how many times I have heard Christian singles make that statement. If you have ever happened to do much ministry work with singles, then you have probably heard that statement too; "I just don't have the gift of singleness." In a certain sense, the statement is understandable. It is usually uttered to explain why the Christian single is experiencing frustration, and difficulty, with single life. Things like loneliness, sexual frustration, feelings of rejection, feelings of unattractiveness, or maybe even the constant attention getting banner of being exceptionally attractive, are all apparent difficulties for many singles. So, it is easy to think that experiencing these things has to do with not being married. Think about it; What happens is that singles experience those things, and they realize that they are not happy with being single. So when a single Christian gets overwhelmed by these things, and they say matter of factly, "I don't have the gift of singleness," it seems to make sense, doesn't it? Maybe you have made this same statement yourself. You may be married, but maybe you thought the same thing before you got married. Now that you are married, you find that your new experience only serves to confirm what you were thinking before. Or maybe you are not married; and so what you sense, which confirms to you that you don't have the gift of singleness, is your continuous experience of frustration, and difficulty, with single life. You feel lonely. You have relentless sexual frustration. You have feelings of rejection. You feel unattractive. Or you are exceptionally attractive, and so you keep attracting everything that is undesirable--"I don't have the gift of singleness." But then, maybe you are someone who has never thought of singleness as being a gift, so all this language is new to you. Well, I want you to think about this language right now: Isn't it reasonable to believe that there must be a gift of singleness that God gives to certain people? Doesn't it also seem that somehow having the gift of singleness would mean that the gift makes you happy with being single? Doesn't it seem like the gift of singleness means that you won't have frustration, and difficulty, with single life. You won't feel lonely. You won't have relentless sexual frustration. You won't have feelings of rejection. You won't feel unattractive. Or your amazing attractiveness that God has actually blessed you with will no longer seem like a curse? I can personally relate to the feelings of longing, loneliness, and at times, even despair that I experienced for years as a single. How long? I was single for thirty-four years before I received my gift of marriage. Those thirty-four years seemed like an almost endless period of time. I remember times during my single life when I would shake my head in exasperation, "I just don't have the gift of singleness!" Fortunately, in the last years of my life as a single, I learned a very important Biblical truth that became a solid mindset that began driving my actions. It is a principle that revolutionized my whole understanding of singleness, courtship, and marriage. I want you to learn it, embrace it, and live it too. What I finally learned after thirty years is the key to this sermon. It is an amazing revelation. What I learned was that I was, in actuality--single. Listen to me, and make a note of this: What I mean is that once I realized I was truly single, then I realized that I already had the gift of singleness. This is the amazing revelation. It is also a biblical revelation. I'll repeat it again for clarity,
All singles already have the gift of singleness.
Remember, something that is nebulously called "the gift of singleness" is what many Christian singles refer to as the gift from God that supposedly makes them happy, or comfortable, with their state of singleness. Did you catch that? Being happy, or comfortable, is equivocated with the gift. But that is not what the gift of singleness is at all. The gift of singleness, is singleness. In other words, all singles already have the gift of singleness because that is their state of being. Being happy with being single is another issue altogether. Being comfortable with your singleness is another issue too. I want us to think about this some more:
Isn't the fact that you are happy with any gift, something that is different than the gift itself?
Think about it. If, for example, someone came up to you and gave you a brand new car as a gift. Being happy with the car is your responsibility. The car is a gift, but your reaction is something that you have toward the gift. Your recognition that it is a gift is something that you need to recognize. Your stewardship of the gift is your responsibility. This realization which is based on logic and scripture, helped me to make a starkly honest assessment. I realized I could no longer say that I did not have the gift of singleness, and so I finally thanked God for the gift.
/1/
This is the first, and foremost, principle that I want all of us to grasp this morning. It is very important to realize that singleness is Biblically described as a gift, and that everyone who is single, is experientially abiding in that gift. Let's read our main passage now, and I will start explaining what I mean from God's word. I'm reading from the ESV. Paul stated in 1 Corinthians 7,
"1 Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: 'It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.' [Literally, "not to touch a woman," which is a euphemism for sexual relations] 2 But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. 3 The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6 Now as a concession, not a command, I say this. 7 I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another. 8 To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am. ... 17 as the Lord has assigned to each one ..." 1 Corinthians 7:1-8, 17
@2 Paul explains that each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another. Paul explains that his gift from God is being _________________________. 1 Corinthians 7:7-8
We notice that Paul is starting out explaining the answers to a list of things that were written to him from the Corinthian elders. We do not know exactly what the questions were, but we can get a kind of idea from Paul's answers. Evidently there are issues that have to do with a present distress that Paul and the Corinthians are concerned with. He alludes to it in a few more verses in the context,
"26 I think then that this is good in view of the present distress, that it is good for a man to remain as he is. 27 Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be released. Are you released from a wife? Do not seek a wife." 1 Corinthians 7:26-27
There is a strong eschatological awareness behind Paul's advice, and so it drives much of his counsel. Paul goes on and says concerning the things of which they wrote:
"29 But this I say, brothers, the time has been shortened, so that from now on those who have wives should be as though they had none; 30 and those who weep, as though they did not weep; and those who rejoice, as though they did not rejoice; and those who buy, as though they did not possess; 31 and those who use the world, as though they did not make full use of it; for the form of this world is passing away. 32 But I want you to be free from concern." 1 Corinthians 7:29-32
It is because of this contextual concern that Paul says in our primary passage under study, that it is good for a man to not have sexual relations with a woman. Of course Paul knows that God ordained that it is good for a man to have sexual relations with his wife. But context is key. There is a specific Corinthian reason that has to do with the present eschatological concern, of which Paul has been asked about. So, Paul goes on and concedes that because of sexual immoralities, men should have intercourse with their own wives. Likewise, women should have their own husbands. It is necessary for each to fulfill their sexual duty with their spouse, which of course, is something that God designed from the beginning. In this sexual duty way, each spouse has authority over the other spouses body. Along this line, Paul says that the husband and the wife should not deprive one another sexually. The exception would be perhaps by agreement, and it is for a limited time, in which they devote themselves to prayer. The time should be limited because of sexual temptations that come from Satan. The background that would foster temptations for married people has to do with the context of Corinth. The temptation in Corinth's sexually charged environment were there because that culture accepted fornication for sexual release to be normal (like for example, with one of the pagan temple prostitutes)--even if you were married. You need to come back together in intercourse soon so that the erotically charged world that operates in sexual licentiousness will not tempt you to seek the other avenues of sexual gratification that are available to you and are being promoted to you from the lost world culture. Paul continues on in the rest of the chapter on marriage and divorce issues of practically every category. But now, we come to the primary part for our application in this sermon. I want us to notice that in verse 7, Paul mentions the gifts from God. Paul wishes that all men had the same gift that he has. He explains the gifts from God as being,
"But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another. 8 To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am." 1 Corinthians 7:7
The kinds of gifts are either marriage, or singleness. The particular gift that Paul has is singleness and not marriage. We know this because in verse 8, Paul indicates clearly that he had no wife as a single. He groups the unmarried, and the widows, in with himself and his gift because he wants them to remain in their gift of singleness too in consideration of the eschatological things that have to do with the present distress in undistracted devotion to the Lord which he mentions again in verse 35,
"This I say for your own benefit; not to put a restraint upon you, but to promote what is appropriate and to secure undistracted devotion to the Lord." 1 Corinthians 7:35
All of this is further confirmed where Paul explains that the marital state of each Christian is referred to as what they have been assigned by God,
"Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him." 1 Corinthians 7:17
The gifting of one's marital state is clearly restated as an appointed assignment. My main point is that I am showing where Paul uses the terminology of singleness being a gift. The reason this revelation of singleness and marriage, as gifts, is so vital is because God desires for us to receive all our gifts from Him according to Biblical wisdom. He wants us to receive them with understanding. This receiving is a faith issue. It is the walk of faith that God wants for us to have in our thinking. This important faith mindset must come at all levels. The premiere one is that you must recognize that singleness is a gift. If you don't start there, then you miss what the Spirit is saying. Then there is the important aspect of accepting the gift of singleness for the blessing that it is. But there is more. It involves giving thanks to God for His sovereign work in your gifts. Think about where all this leads: Instead of starting out thinking that our singleness is not a gift, the Spirit wants us to start out giving thanks to God for what we already have. He wants us to trust Him for what He has planned for it. Remember, we are considering God's sovereign purpose for you while you exist in your gift of singleness. We may not always be happy. We may not have all of our problems solved in our gift of singleness, but we are showing appreciation to our Father, in faith. We are demonstrating trust in Him while we live what we are where we are.
Think about this for a moment: When God first gave each of you the gift of singleness, He did it in such a way that singleness was not something you had any choice in deciding, right? God destined, designed, developed, and delivered, you into this world according to His sovereign determination. As the designer and gift-giver, God recognizes singleness through the ages from a different perspective than human generated philosophies do. For example, in the beginning God declared that it was "not good for man to be alone," so He said, "I will make a helper suitable for him," Genesis 2:18. Incidentally, God replaced Adam's gift of singleness. What did God replace Adam's gift of singleness with? God replaced it with another gift. It was the gift of marriage in which the two became "one flesh." But there are other important details. God was the one who determined that Adam be made single. God also determined, at a certain point, that Adam's previous gift of singleness was "not good." In other words, it was God who said that it was not good for the man to be alone in this world. It is important to recognize that Adam did not determine this fact for himself, concerning himself. Humanistic philosophy did not exist yet. Humanistic philosophy which was birthed as Serpentistic philosophy came later. The point is that since God is the creator of everything, and is Sovereign, He has the right, and the divine insight, to always determine which gifts are good, and which ones, if any, are not. Today, we take these things for granted as Christians, but the point is that the Spirit wants us to trust God in His design of all this. And yet, God was not finished creating humanity when He decreed that it was not good for Adam to be alone. From the union that followed, the whole earth became populated. Populating the earth was another manifestation of God as gift giver. He multiplied the gift of more human lives. The point is that we must also trust His sovereign reason, wisdom, and purpose, in doing this too. But we must also trust God in the same kinds of principles that continue. The principle is that God makes similar determinations for single Christians concerning what new gifts should be given, or even what old gifts should be replaced. God does this according to His sovereign will in determining whether or not it is good for single Christians to continue in the gift of singleness. Again, it is a faith and trust issue in which we glorify God in His sovereign wisdom, will, and way.
/2/
This leads to the second principle I want to cover this morning. We know that it was not good for the first man to be alone. We also know that God remedied the situation. But now, in our New Covenant through Christ, there are two new gift provisions that God uses for dealing with the aloneness of single Christians that Adam did not have. Marriage is a third gift, but not all singles get married. And besides, you may be single right now, so you are not experiencing the gift of marriage at this time. So, this second principle has to do with the two other provisions that God has given as gifts for His people. Remember, marriage was the first gift God gave for aloneness in the beginning. Then offspring was continued gift giving. The other two gifts available to us Christians are:
1) The gift of the fellowship of the Holy Spirit Who now resides within each of us as His temple-vessels.
2) The gift of the fellowship of the other members of Christ's body, also called His church.
Let's examine that first gift. It is the gift of the person of the Holy Spirit that has to do with Christ in us as our hope of glory, Colossians 1:27. As Christians, we are sealed in Christ, with the Holy Spirit. The Holy spirit is in our hearts. We know from Ephesians 1, that
"13 In him you also, when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and believed in him, were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit," Ephesians 1:13 ESV
In 2 Corinthians we read that God,
"... sealed us and gave us the Spirit in our hearts as a pledge." 2 Corinthians 1:22
@3 God gives the _______________________ to all Christians as a pledge in their hearts. 2 Corinthians 1:22
The Holy Spirit, is graciously given to us Christians as our helper, John 14:16. He is our direct link with the Son and the Father in the Trinity. Our union with the Holy Spirit means that we are not alone in the most important sense of relationship. The Holy Spirit dwells in you, Romans 8:9; the Holy Spirit leads you, Galatians 5:18; the Holy Spirit intercedes for you, Romans 8:26; and the Holy Spirit even grieves for you, Ephesians 4:30. The Holy Spirit, as God, is your most important, and faithful, companion. He will never, ever, leave you, nor forsake you. The Holy Spirit is the companion that our Lord has meant for us to have the richest and most sacred fellowship in communion with God. So first we see that the single Christian has the gift of the Holy Spirit. We dare not take this lightly. We must recognize the privilege. Then there is the gift of our fellowship with the body of Christ. Fellowship with the body of Christ is God's norm for Christian singles. Paul said in 1 Corinthians;
"12 For even as the body is one and yet has many members, and all the members of the body, though they are many, are one body, so also is Christ." 1 Corinthians 12:12
[Paul goes on and says to]
"... have the same care for one another. 26 And if one member suffers, all the members suffer with it; if one member is honored, all the members rejoice with it." 1 Corinthians 12:25-26
The church is described like a body because God has designed it to be the body of Christ through His Spirit. Our relationship is designed with such interconnectedness, that when one member suffers, we all do. When one member is honored, we all rejoice with that person in their honor. This is fellowship; and this fellowship is a gift. The gift has been given to you from God. We dare not take this lightly. We must recognize the privilege. In Ephesians 4:15-16, Paul says that we, as the body parts, are to be building up the body of Christ in love. Fellowship with the body of Christ is meant to build us all up until we attain to the full stature of Christ. Fellowship with the body of Christ, as an active part of the body of Christ, diminishes aloneness in singleness. Diminishing the aloneness of singleness is a way that God wants us to be built up. Think about how God has designed it to where you are built up when you interact with other Christians. You are not confined to fellowshipping with people in your general age group to experience this either. God wants all age groups to be interconnected to one another in fellowship as the body. As a single, one way this fellowship is experienced is in pursuing Christian virtues together with other Christians. This is why Paul tells Timothy to
"... flee from youthful lusts and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart." 2 Timothy 2:22
The key principle that we really must grasp in what Paul is saying is that fleeing youthful lusts and pursuing righteousness, faith, love, and peace, is clarified as activity that is not meant to be done alone. Notice what Paul says. Paul says to pursue these things of the Spirit "with those." He is talking about many. God wants singles to do this with those other people who call on the Lord from a pure heart. The pure hearted ones are Christians. They have had their hearts washed by Christ. This is something that you do in a not-alone way, right? You don't do this by yourself. The implication is that this involves God's gift of fellowship with the body of Christ. The question for you, if you are a single, is the same question for all of us--even those of us who are married. Are you fleeing from youthful lusts with the rest of us? If not--why not? Are you pursuing righteousness with all of us who call on the name of the Lord? If not--why not? Are you pursing faith, love, and peace, with all the rest of us who are the body? The body of Christ is God's gift to you. How about the other side of the gift? You say, "What do you mean?" I'm talking about you. Are others able to put you into the category of being one of those that they are to pursue the Christian life with? Again, if not--why not? You are just as much a gift to us, as we are a gift to you. This an important element in God's New Covenant prescription for not being alone. God has given us a Christian community of people who call on the name of the Lord. It is up to you to utilize the household of God, which is the church of the living God, the pillar and support of the truth, 1 Timothy 3:15. Get involved with them. Fellowship with them. Get to know them. Be accountable to them. Serve them. Love them. Pursue, pursue, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, with them. We're talking about God's gifts. So we see that the Scriptures reveal, through the apostle Paul, that singleness is a gift from God. We also see that the Holy spirit is a gift from God. We also see that fellowship in the body of Christ, as part of the body of Christ, is a gift from God. All these things are important for understanding the gift of singleness, and the gift of relationships that God gives to singles which diminishes being alone. But there is more. Let's think about our primary passage of 1 Corinthians 7 again. We need to remember that Paul also revealed that marriage is a gift from God, 1 Corinthians 7:7. Paul also indicated that singleness was his own gift that he was experiencing, 1 Corinthians 7:8. Paul thought very highly of remaining in the gift of singleness to enable undistracted devotion to the Lord. This is the third principle I want to cover.
/3/
The gift of singleness is God's special opportunity for you to be enabled to have devotion to Him that is not distracted by marriage concerns, and constraints. I think Dr. Walvoord from the Dallas Theological Seminary conveys the sense well concerning what Paul was saying in 1 Corinthians 7, when he writes concerning Paul,
"He realized, however, that marriage or remaining single was more than a matter of weighing alternative benefits; each was a gift from God. It is God who enables each Christian to be married or single. ... The single state has potentially fewer encumbrances and distractions than the married state, so it more easily facilitates a spirit of undivided devotion to the Lord."--Dr. Walvoord
All through 1 Corinthians 7, Paul gave his personal opinion that singleness was the gift he wished all single Christians would seek to remain in. Paul was wanting to share his own wisdom in answering the Corinthian's questions. But I want us to notice something: Paul made sure that he clarified that this was his own viewpoint and not one given directly from God. He said in verse 6,
"But this I say by way of concession, not of command."
He made the same clarification in verse 12,
"But to the rest I say, not the Lord." 1 Corinthians 7:12
A little later he says,
"Now concerning virgins I have no command of the Lord, but I give an opinion ..." 1 Corinthians 7:25
In verse 40 Paul says again;
"But in my own opinion ..." 1 Corinthians 7:40
The point is that in giving his personal opinion, Paul is not saying that one gift is better than another gift. Do you follow my point? What Paul is saying is that one who is single is in a unique situation. When you are single, you can serve the Lord in a more undistracted form of devotion than when you have the cares, and responsibilities, of married life. In other words, the gift of singleness is an amazing opportunity. Paul is saying that it is a blessing to abide in the gift of singleness for this reason. Marriage is a blessing too, but that is not the point that Paul is immediately making. We must also keep in mind that though Paul recommended remaining single, and unmarried, in the last part of 1 Corinthians 7, Paul actually mandates marriage in 1 Timothy 5:14. What this means is that Paul also considered marriage to be a gift that is worthy to be pursued, and attained. Paul said plainly,
"... I want younger widows to get married. ..." 1 Timothy 5:14
Now, at first reading, Paul's advice, may seem confusing. Think about it. He wrote that marriage is a gift, and yet he gave his personal advice (based upon his opinion, and not upon a command from God) to stay unmarried. Paul's wise assessment is that the gift of singleness will save one from much trouble in this life. But then in another context, Paul says he wants younger widows to marry. Each point that Paul makes, in each of his epistles, must be taken in context of the overarching thrust of his flow of thought. Nevertheless, in each context, we see a related thread. Listen to me very carefully:
The gift of marriage comes with its set of blessings, and problems, and on the other hand, the gift of singleness comes with its own set of blessings, and problems too.
Both come with different blessings, and different problems that have different shapes. In 1 Timothy 5:14 Paul was addressing a problem with young widows that needed to be dealt with. Paul also said in 1 Corinthians 7:9, that if unmarried people do not have sexual self control, it is better for them to marry, than to burn with sexual passions. The important point I am wanting us to recognize, is that Paul is equally affirming both gifts--the gift of marriage, and also the gift of singleness, and yet he realizes that singleness helps foster undistraction to the Lord that is not possible in married life. If you are single, use your gift as the opportunity that it is to serve the Lord with full, focused, gusto as one who has no family restraints hindering your ambitions.
/4/
This leads to the last principle I want to cover. It has to do with seeking after another gift. God clearly says that Christians who are in their gift of singleness can seek after the gift of marriage. Remember 1 Timothy? Paul clearly says that younger widows should get married. In 1 Corinthians, Paul gives the burn with passion reason as a reason to seek after another gift from God. In both instances, the marriage of Christians then becomes "What God has joined together." This is a very important point. Why is it so important? Because gifts are sometimes sought after. The gift of marriage can certainly be sought after too. In the meantime, burning with passion may lead you to seek marriage, but burning with passion does not nullify the fact that singleness is your gift that you have before marriage that God wants you to be using to glorify Him. What is really going on is that burning with sexual passion is something that you are doing while being in your gift of singleness. What God wants us to do with all His gifts, including the gift of singleness, is to receive each gift with appreciation--even while asking for, and seeking, another kind of gift. But God never said that the gift of singleness was the problem. Lack of sexual self control, which comes from misdirecting your burn with passion, can be a problem. The gift of marriage, is where one can freely participate in the sexual passion that was such a problem as a single. But again; this does not mean that marriage eliminates all the problems of single people, or that marriage will make single people happy all the time. Let me tell you a little secret that speaks volumes: a lot of marriage counseling has to do with sexual problems in marriage. You know, a lot of singles think ,
"If I would only get married, then all of those kinds of problems will be solved."
This just is not true. But, on the other hand, there are a lot of married people who are thinking that if they would only get un-married, then all their problems would be solved too. But, God never said that our problems go away, or are solved, while in this world. God promises us abundant life spiritually in Christ. He promises us that we find true happiness in Him, in serving Him, even while we are completely saddened, and depressed, because of our condition among a lost world culture of sin, and disease. Now I want you to think about this--God Himself, is His ultimate gift to you. We dare not take Him lightly. We must recognize the privilege of calling God "our Father" through Christ. And there is something else you need to know too--You are God's gift to Himself. First, He determined to create you. Then, He purchased you out of your sin and death by becoming sin and death for you on the cross. We dare not take this lightly either. We must recognize the privilege.
As I wrap up this morning, let's recap all we have covered: We need to truly grasp the big sovereignty principle this morning. It is foundational. We must be mindful that being single is a gift from God. Everyone who is single, is experientially abiding in that gift. God wants us to thank Him for our gifts as we operate in life using our gifts to serve Him. We also need to be mindful that whether we are married, or whether we are single, there are two provisions that God has ordained for Christians as gifts that are meant to diminish loneliness in experiencing deep, special, communion (fellowship-friendship). One is the gift of the fellowship of the Holy Spirit. He resides within you. The other is the gift of the fellowship of the other members of Christ's body, also called His church. We need to always be considering that the gift of singleness is a state of enablement to have devotion to God that is not distracted by marriage concerns, and constraints. We have also been talking about the fact that it is good to desire to marry. In the meantime God does not want singles to think that marriage will suddenly make them happy, or solve their problems. Though marriage is a gift, and though marriage is a blessing, marriage carries with it a whole new set of problems, saddening events, and tough situations too. There is ample opportunity to be distracted from focused devotion to the Lord while married. The essential mindset in all of this is that until you exchange the gift of singleness for the gift of marriage, or you remain in your gift of singleness, what should you do?; You should be thanking God for your singleness, and you should seek to glorify Him in it. It is a matter of faith. It is a faith issue to have this kind of appreciation for how God has made you. Look at your gift of singleness as an opportunity to actually do what Paul says and focus yourself fully in service to the Lord, 1 Corinthians 7:35. If you are married, I urge you to thank God for your gift of marriage. In this way we glorify God with our lives. (Amen.)
The rest of this series continues to build upon principles that have been laid in this first sermon. I strongly urge you to try not to miss any of the sermons.
@1 God joins __________________________ men and women in marriage where they are no longer two but one flesh. No person should separate the one flesh of marriage through divorce.
@2 Paul explains that each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another. Paul explains that his gift from God is being _________________________. 1 Corinthians 7:7-8
@3 God gives the _______________________ to all Christians as a pledge in their hearts. 2 Corinthians 1:22
